Sidereel
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INTERspecies PAIR PROGRAMMING [ISPP]
The Rails community is at the forefront of software development, both technologically and socially. Pair programming is great. We embraced pair programming for years but realized it’s just not enough. It’s time we become more inclusive and realize that there is a wealth of talent out there — not all of it human.
My Esteemed Colleagues,
Here at SideReel we are proud to be the first company to practice interspecies pair programming. Vampire Engineers (or Vampeers) greatly increase the efficiency of a team. They type ridiculously fast, have inhuman focus, and just a drop of their blood enhances your human developers’ ability for hours! This increase in code productivity and quality easily outweighs the risk of pairing with a blood-sucking murderer.
Barry Goldstein
Director of Human & Non-Human Resources
Job opportunities are opening everyday!
Implementation and Optimization of ISPP
vam·pire
an undead human who feasts on the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed teeth
soft·ware en·gi·neer
one who applies the principles of software engineering to the design, development, and testing of programs that run computers
vam·peer
an immortal who feeds on the blood of the living while designing, developing, and testing software
Teams using ISPP benefit from combining the diverse perspectives of humans and vampeers. Despite the risk of feeding present with ISPP, this implementation complies with OSHA regulations* when personal protective equipment and the Slayer iPhone App are used.
*Refer to OSHA Standard 1910.1030(b) regarding bloodborne pathogens.
I never thought I'd get to work with a vampire. I'm kinda learning a lot from my vampeer. Neil, Software Engineer
Safety Innovations
ISPP can quickly become an intimate work practice. Many humans permit their vampeer the occasional snack while pairing, and some vampeers reciprocate (which is a huge boon to human engineers tired of coffee and energy drinks). To protect our human engineers from dangerous levels of blood loss, we’ve developed the Slayer iPhone App. It pairs wirelessly with a stake worn by the vampeer, and enables instant slaying of any vampeer guilty of draining his human pair.
